Staying present has become one of my lifelines. For me this is a practice every damn day that sometimes I do really well and sometimes, not so much. But the awareness and desire to stay present is there now in a way it wasn't before. My mind, oh boy. I can very easily be five years in the past, ten years in the future, transported to Massachusetts, and then sitting at my desk at work. And this doesn't even include the daily, weekly, monthly minutia that can slowly chip away with low level anxiety (emails, iphone, calendaring, planning, prepping). Conversely, I would dream of beautiful vacations or what we were going to do for the holidays or the home we someday hoped to buy and long for those times instead of the present day.

For me this became a dangerous, fertile ground that informed my decisions and determined my state of being. It's a great way to avoid dealing with my shit. If I am stuck in 1998 or 2027 or scrolling Instagram then I don't have to deal. My tape was on loop taking me away from truly the only moments that matter. I have started to slowly shift. I made a promise to work on this for my own well being and the health of my family. And I know it's ever evolving and never going to be perfect - I still find my mind going into overdrive - but I can say it's been a very powerful and freeing tool so far. 

Meditation and exercise was a good first start for me. I do not meditate daily, but have been able to pull lessons from meditating that I can do anywhere when my tape starts up. Stop. Breathe. Step back from the thoughts. They are still there, but I now see them as a separate entity to the whole me. I don't have to be held prisoner by them. I have a silly vision now when my mind starts racing to the past or the future or towards the everyday worry to make a u-turn back to the present. I sub in thoughts about what here and now is making me happy or content or just ok and then usually the not real stuff fades. 

It's also feeds in to other great things like forgiveness, letting go of anger and sadness that existed in another time, guilt and worry. How's that for a spiritual trip.