Me and Jay, soon after getting engaged in 2007.

Today is Jay's birthday. It's a milestone one that gets you thinking and it's not even my birthday. I have always regretted not saying something meaningful and loving on our wedding day to Jay in front of everyone who was there. I know we are not supposed to live with regrets, but I think some times regrets are our best teachers. This falls in the minor category of regrets and what it's taught me is not to be shy about love. So what would I have said all those years ago to my new husband when I was 29 years old embarking on marriage? It's hard to know for sure since so much life has been lived since then with all of the breath taking moments and intense complexity that happens along the way. But this is what I always thought I'd say...

“Thank you all for being here with us to celebrate our marriage. When I look out at all the faces in the room tonight I see many of the people who have loved and supported us long before we met, helping shape the person we love and chose to marry.

I liked Jay from the moment I met him, really liked him just a few days later and then fell in love with him over good meals in the months that followed. I was even so bold as to tell a family friend of the Cooley's just three months in to dating that I was going to marry Jay. I also may have had some wine before saying that, but I was right!

I will never forget the pork chops with warm apples he made me at his apartment in the Marina to the delicious dinners we had all over this city. Sitting down with Jay eating good food, sharing our stories and laughs are some of the best moments of my life. So it felt just about right to celebrate our marriage over a beautiful dinner in the Mission, right around the corner from where he grew up.

Jay, I love you so so much. You are my best kept secret- silly and funny, but also incredibly deep and full of emotion and thoughts that you share without hesitation with me. Melissa always used to tell me I should be with someone who absolutely adores me, to which I would roll my eyes. But now here I am with a man who adores me. I cannot wait to see where life takes us. I promise to always laugh at your jokes, keep you well fed and nurture our marriage no matter where life takes us."

Happy birthday, boo. My heart still skips a beat when you walk in to the room.