This week's Q&A is with my friend and colleague of four years, Beverly. Picture a co-worker that you just sync with personally and professionally, that is Bev for me. As working mothers we were able to commiserate over all things kids and family. Over the years I got to know a woman who is kind, fanatical about her sports, hard working, generous and appreciates the finer things in life like art and beautiful floral arrangements. And she has the best hair, ever. 

I couldn't agree more with her advice to a new mom, read on to see what she has to say.

Bits + Pieces

Where do you live and with whom?

I live with my fiancé, 18 year old daughter (at least until she’s off to college in SoCal), my 2 year old daughter, and my brother-in-law and his small family until they find a place of their own.

If you didn’t have to work for money what would you do?

If I had an abundance of money, and enough talent I’d probably be an event designer with a focus on florals.

What did you have for dinner last night?

Being 8 months pregnant my cravings come and go.  Rarely am I feigning for the same thing (except for a good oreo shake which seems to be my third trimester list of cravings).  Yesterday I needed something hearty that reminded me of my mom so I headed to a local Filipino bakery and picked up some pinoy favorites of pancit polabok, okoy, and a side of rice. 

Choose five words to describe you.

I’m impatient, protective, unassuming, cautious, and a Northern Californian in the most stereotypical way.

What do you do for “me time”?

Until recently, I couldn’t truly tell you how I spent “me time.”  Between my busy family life, plain motherly guilt, and work, I never allowed myself the time to really unwind. However, with some flexible Fridays and mandatory furlough days at work, I’ve rediscovered the value of this sacred time. 

I’ve found a great novel to read and have allowed myself Fridays to visit the nail salon, self-indulge in clothes that could double for maternity and non-maternity wear, and just a long much needed midday nap.

Some of Your Favorites

What book are you reading right now?

I’ve started reading Cooking for Picasso, a  novel that transcends two eras and countries that’s made me look at Picasso paintings a little differently.

What song or album are you playing on repeat right now?

The Hamilton Soundtrack has been on repeat.  I plan on memorizing CabinetBattle #1 with my 18 year old for us to sing on our next road trip. 

What is the one beauty product you are obsessed with and would recommend to all your friends?

I have an oldie and a new find that I’ve been telling everyone about.  The oldie, which I’ve used for at least a decade is TooFaced’s Shadow Primer and the new find is MAC’s Brow Sculpt.

What is your favorite item in your closet?

I recently purchased a long, colorful and flowy pheasant style dress.  I love how it makes me feel put together and feminine while complimenting my baby bump.  

Go to adult beverage?

Between being pregnant and breast feeding, I haven’t been able to discover my new adult beverage. These days, it would have to be an oreo shake (because you wouldn’t give a child that much sugar daily).

Mom Questions

Give me three words to describe your life as a mother.

Life as a mother can be described in three words: laughter, schedules, and patience.

What do you currently do really well as a parent?

Being a mother at 20 has helped me stay in tune with some of the struggles of my 18 year old.  I couldn’t help her with math formulas and school lessons at all, but I do remember what feelings came about at the age of 18.  I think my daughter is confident with who she is because of the support she’s had along the way. 

What is something you wish you were currently better at as a parent?

As a parent, I really wish I could hold back and let things just play out.  I’m such a control freak - a helicopter mom in a sense that needs to let go and let my kids learn their lessons in their own way.

Name a few things you miss the most about life before kids?

Silence.  As a mom and one of seven people in a small house, I really miss the sound of silence. This weekend it was just me and my family at home and it was really therapeutic to be able to sit in the living room with just the sound of my two year old playing quietly with her toys.   

Can you tell me about something that you have experienced as a parent that you didn’t see coming before you had kids?

As a parent-to-be you imagine having children and all those wonderful (and not so wonderful experiences) such as dance classes, football camps, school, vacations, disciplining, sicknesses, etc.  

What you don’t realize is how much you worry about your children and family.  It’s no longer just about making sure you and your partner are okay, but making sure your family is happy and thriving.  Sometimes – most of the time, you tend to put their needs before your own which you also have to learn to balance fairly. 

I’ve also noticed, the more children you have, the more you learn to let go of the idea of a perfectly clean home.  You can get this right after the cleaner comes – enjoy that first day, because after that you just learn to deal with the mess until your cleaner’s next visit. 

If you can name three traits you want your kids to have when they leave the nest what would they be?

When my children leave the nest I hope they have learned to be compassionate, to work hard, and to push through when times become challenging, and (I’m adding one last one) that they know they can always lean on family.  

Give me one piece of advice that you would give a new mom.

I’d tell each new mom that things get easier and then get difficult again, but you learn to manage it all. Allow yourself to laugh, to take things in stride, and to have a partner that reminds you of this.